Dick Size: Does Size Matter, Really?

Different people have different preferences, but speaking from personal experience, having shot with some of the biggest names in the industry, I can tell you that size does matter… but only to a certain extent. It doesn’t matter in the way many think it does, and there are a plethora of other aspects that are just as significant, if not more so, than the length of your penis. Primarily, size becomes an issue if you don’t know what you’re doing in bed.

In this post, I’ll delve into why there’s such a fixation on penis size, what the real statistics are, why bigger doesn’t necessarily mean better, and how to excel in the bedroom regardless of the size you’re working with.

So, let’s tackle the question: does size really matter?

Why Are People So Obsessed With Dick Size?

I’ve heard the phrase “bigger is better” applied to nearly everything. But when it comes to penis size, it’s not the be-all and end-all, particularly for those who are on the receiving end during sex. For those with penises, it greatly influences their self-perception and self-esteem.

A 2006 study showed that men who reported having a larger-than-average penis also rated their appearance more favorably. This is where the concept of ‘big dick energy‘ comes from – a larger penis size seems to fuel confidence.

However, a huge penis is often wrongly associated with manliness, power, and stamina – outdated ideals of masculinity. Yet, a big penis doesn’t automatically make you a superior lover; it simply means you have a larger genitalia, which is quite different from the aura of confidence that ‘big dick energy’ suggests.

What Is The Average Dick Size Anyway?

There’s a misconception that the average penis size is six inches, likely stemming from self-reported measurements. However, a 2020 review of research indicates that the average lies between 5.1 and 5.5 inches.

And with 95 percent of penises falling within this range, it’s clear that nearly everyone is average. The focus should really be on how you use what you’ve got.

Is There A Holy Grail “Best Dick Size”?

You might have seen the viral clip by popular TikToker Cera Gibson, providing visual context to what an overly large penis size might look like. She deemed just over 5 inches as sufficient and between 6 and 7 inches as “fabulous.”

Research and surveys agree, because at the end of the day, the length is only part of the equation. Girth is also a significant factor. The ‘ideal’ size, often quoted in studies, averages at about 6.4 inches in length and 4.8 inches in girth.

Even though size has its place, it isn’t the sole concern. What’s critical is knowing how to use the tool you’ve been given, as all penises are different. The priority should be to figure out how to perform best with yours.

When Does Penis Size Actually Matter?

An above-average penis size matters to certain individuals and in specific contexts. For instance, women who are more likely to orgasm through vaginal penetration may prefer a larger penis. However, while length is a consideration, girth arguably plays a more crucial role. In my case I’m a fan of length and girth 😉

On the other hand, extremely large or small penises can present unique challenges. Yet, there are solutions readily available. For instance, the clitoris is external, and stimulating it can be key for many women, while the G-spot is only a few inches inside the vagina. Smaller penises can explore different angles to compensate.

Sex toys like penis sleeves and extensions can offer help for smaller penises. Remember, not everyone’s ultimate pleasure comes from penetrative sex alone, so understanding how your partner achieves climax is more important than focusing on penis size.

So, as I’ve learned, size matters but performance takes precedence. And thankfully, there are many ways to enhance performance regardless of size.

Performance Can Outweigh Dick Size 

Through my own experiences, I’ve come to understand that while size is not irrelevant, it’s far from the only thing that matters. The emotional connection and chemistry with your partner can outweigh the importance of size.

For example, one of my first scenes was with Lexington Steele. Despite being known for his size, our scenes are fantastic because of our friendship and the connection we share. It’s that bond and communication that enhance the experience for both of us.

Sex is so much more than just penetration. Foreplay, including perfecting your oral sex skills, can make a world of difference in how important your penis size feels during the act.

Moreover, listening and responding to your partner’s cues—both verbal and non-verbal—are vital. Sometimes, in my films, I work with guys who are quite large, and while there might be a bit of discomfort, the pleasure outweighs it, and it’s essential to communicate that.

Finding the right rhythm, the most pleasurable positions, and fulfilling any shared fantasies contribute significantly to your performance. Trust me, a large penis means nothing if the person doesn’t listen or know how to use it effectively.

Dick Size Unusually Big or Small? No Problem.

Challenges with penis size tend to arise at the extremes. But there’s a wealth of satisfying sexual experiences for everyone, no matter where you fall on the size spectrum.

How to Have Sex With an Extra Big Dick Size

For those of you with a larger than average member, there’s a few things to keep in mind to be a better lover. 

1. Keep it wet. You never want to skimp on foreplay, but making sure your partner is wet and stays wet is essential. Always have lube on hand and don’t hesitate to be generous with it. 
2. Take things slow. For the initial penetration in particular, take things mega slow. Listen to your partner and make sure they’re comfortable. You’ll also want to be extra mindful of her comfort and how much she can take as your switch and try different positions. 
3. Try these positions. Rather than doggy style (which can be a little brutal if you move too fast) try spooning sex or standing up doggy as they allow for more shallow penetration. You can also both lay on your sides facing each other. And, while it seems a bit counterintuitive, if your partner is on top, they can control how deep you are. 

How to Have Sex With a Small Dick

If you have a smaller-than-average dick, there’s a few things you can do to make sure your partner is still receiving a lot of pleasure. 

1. Focus on the performance. Think beyond simply penetration. This can start outside the bedroom with sexts and dirty talk, different roleplay and lots of foreplay. Edging could be great here as well to really build up the anticipation. 
2. Oral Sex. Prop her up on a pillow for a good angle. Work your way from the outside in like when using utensils at a fancy dinner restaurant. Ask her what she likes and where she is most sensitive and go from there.  From the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy the top three touching techniques women prefer down there are a repeated rhythmic motion, circling around the clitoris, and switching between different strokes (e.g., circles to up and down, then back), remember that.

3. Try these positions. You’ll want to try positions that allow you to get deep as possible. This can be doggy style, one leg up, your partner on top to grind away (especially on a chair to wrap around you) and the advanced level pile driver. And, you’ll want to know your way to and around their clit for additional stimulation during penetration. Great creative here with angles in the positions that are working for you both. You have lots of options that larger dicks can’t try easily. 
4. Use sex toys. The goal with adding sex toys to the mix is to enhance what you’re working with. Consider a silicone penis extender or penis sleeve to reach new depths in your partner or a vibrating cock ring for both of you. 
5. Anal is easier with a smaller dick. It’s often tighter and more delicate, so you’ll want to make sure you always use lube but a smaller dick is easier to take and it can be more pleasurable for you. 

Why You Shouldn’t Get Hung Up Over Dick Size

Teddy Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Knowing how to work with what you’ve got—utilizing tools and techniques to enhance pleasure—makes the actual measurements just numbers. Spending less time focused on what you lack and more on how to provide and seek pleasure will always lead to a more satisfying bedroom experience.

So… Does Size Really Matter For Women?

Ultimately, size tends to matter more to men in terms of their self-confidence than to their partners. For the vast majority—with penises of all sizes—my advice is to concentrate on your performance and understanding your partner rather than the length of your manhood. 

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